Being a People Pleaser
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Do you consider yourself to be a people pleaser?
Is it very important to you that people like you?
If you find that it is necessary to have everyone like you and so you are willing to do nearly anything to please others, then you likely are a people pleaser. Being nice to others would seem like a good goal, so why do you think being a people pleaser could be a problem?
Everyone wants to be liked. However, it is important to understand that not everyone is going to like you. It is also essential that you understand that trying to please everyone all the time is only going to cause you to suffer. There is a wise saying that “If you live for people’s acceptance, you will die from their rejection.”
People are always going to find fault with things you do. Therefore, you should not sacrifice everything about yourself to try to please others.
Seek the Approval of God
Galatians 1:10 tells us, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
God does not want you trying to please people. We are commanded to love others, but that does not mean that you are to do all you can to please them. This is not where your focus should lie.
The problem is that many of us equate loving others with doing things to please them. Can you think of instances where your love and care for someone may not please them?
Sometimes we have to apply tough love. That does not mean that we don’t love them. It simply means that our love is not focused on trying to please them.
God commands us to seek His approval. Colossians 3:23 tells us, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” While you may have a boss or supervisor, God is telling us that our work should be done for Him. He then tells us that working hard for Him will always be rewarded (1 Corinthians 15:58).
Why do you think it is important to be doing things for God and not for man?
Others Will Lead You Astray
Here is an important reality – people are going to lead you astray. Whether we are talking about your friends, family, coworkers, even brothers or sisters in Christ, they are going to lead you astray at times. You have a fleshly nature that has desires (Galatians 5:19-21). So do they. They have desires that are in opposition to God as well.
Do you find that those who love you do things that are not always good for you?
Sometimes they may ask you to do things in opposition to what God wants you to do. It may seem like a genuine concern or problem. They may give you an idea that seems loving, but is not at all.
Have people ever asked you to do something that really wasn’t good for them?
Did you tell them “yes” or were you able to tell them “no?” What was the reason(s) behind your decision?
1 Corinthians 15:13 tells us that “bad company corrupts good morals.” This may seem like a harsh criticism when talking about your friends or family, because you would not consider them to be bad company. However, there may be times where they act in a selfish way, and doing something to please them harms you and them.
Let’s be honest. We all manipulate people into doing something that really is not good for us or them. For centuries, men have used this line to get women to have sex with them: “If you love me, you will do this.” That is a gigantic lie. Our flesh desires something and we use manipulation to persuade women to agree. In this case, we are the “bad company,” even if we do love that person.
It is important to understand your role in people pleasing. You are trying to get people to please you as well. Can you think of an instance where you manipulated someone into doing something to please you?
Doing What’s Right!
You have spent some time learning about how to know God is speaking to you. One way you can tell is if it is supported by the Bible. If God said something to you, it should never violate His Word.
You can use that same principle in determining if something is good for you to do or not. 2 Timothy 3:16 tells us “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness.” God’s Word is good for correction, including correcting you. If you are unsure about whether to help someone or not, consult what the Bible says about that.
Think about a situation where someone asked you to do something and you were unsure about helping them. What does the Bible say about that situation?
It can be hard to tell people “no.” They may get upset. They may yell at you or try to guilt you into doing something. However, your attitude must be to seek the approval of God and not the approval of man.
It starts with one important question – who are you living your life to please?
Your Memory Verse: Galatians 1:10 – 10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
© 2025 Dr. Robert Pannier, Hope CDA, All Rights Reserved
