Coveting
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Are you a person who covets what other people have?
This question may have you a little perplexed because you may not even know what the word covet means. One of the definitions of “covet” is to really want something. That doesn’t seem like much of a problem. We all want something, so coveting would seem to be a good thing.
However, the final one of the Ten Commandments tells us, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”
We are specifically told not to covet our neighbor’s house or his wife (spouse). This verse tells us why coveting is wrong. The sin is rooted in the other definition which is to feel a passionate desire for what belongs to someone else. It is this desire that is wrong. It is what God commands us to not do.
Do you think that it is wrong to strongly desire something that belongs to someone else?
Where Is Your Heart?
Here is a little history lesson for you. After Judah was conquered by the Babylonians, around 600 BC, most of the people were taken into exile. What happened in those days was that conquering nations sought to completely obliterate the culture of the nation they defeated. When the Babylonians defeated the Jews, the first goal was to remove their culture. So, Jews learned Aramaic as a language. The Babylonians attempted to eradicate the religious beliefs of the Jews. The Jews learned Babylonian law and culture. The attempt was made to destroy everything that the Jews had known.
Later, the Babylonians were conquered by the Persians and the Jews were allowed to return to their homeland, Jerusalem and the surrounding areas. Some still knew the language, and they were able to instruct the people about the Law.
Here was the problem. These men became the new religious leaders, and they interpreted the Law in a way that didn’t agree with what God had originally taught.
If you look at Matthew 5:21-43, you read about the corrections that Jesus made regarding the interpretation of the Law. All of these sections begin with Jesus saying, “You have heard that it was said, … but I tell you …” The religious leaders were teaching the wrong interpretation of the Law of God.
Let’s look at one example. Matthew 5:27-30 reads:
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.
The religious leaders were teaching that it was perfectly acceptable for me to covet or desire the wife of another as long as I did not commit adultery with her. They were literal to the Law, believing that it was perfectly acceptable to think or desire something, as long as one did not act in accordance with those desires.
Jesus taught that this was wrong. He explained that this was about our hearts. That if we desire something that does not belong to us, then we are as guilty as if we had actually committed the act itself.
Why do you think God tells us not to covet the things of others?
This is a question that many asked themselves. Why does it matter that you may desire something that belongs to another person?
The reality is that when we covet, strongly desire something, our desire is never fulfilled until we have that thing. If Jacob is lusting over Mike’s wife, Emily, he is likely to spend a lot of time thinking about what it would be like to be with Emily. His desire for her will never be satisfied until he actually has her. He may even create scenarios where he could be near her or to hear her voice. This coveting will lead to inappropriate actions that could eventually lead to adultery.
Even if it does not, he is still committing adultery in his mind. Jacob is lusting and envisioning what he would do if he had Emily in his arms. The thoughts will continuously cloud Jacob’s mind, and his heart will be focused on another man’s wife.
How do you think Jacob would act around Emily?
How do you think he would begin to act around Mike?
If there was ever a situation where Mike and Emily were having problems and Mike went to Jacob for comfort and advice, what do you think Jacob would say to Mike?
His heart will be in the wrong place. Therefore, it is very likely that Jacob would convince Mike that he was better off without Emily. Jacob will not be a good friend to either Mike or Emily because his desire, his coveting, will cloud what he does and says.
God Is Not Sufficient
Far too many Christians do not believe that coveting something is that serious of a sin. It’s not murder or stealing, after all. It is just a thought, so why does it matter?
One thing you should consider is that coveting is a sin in the sense that it rejects the sufficiency of God. It is saying that God is not providing for you what you need, so you will go and take something that belongs to another. This is why it is such a serious sin.
God promised that He would provide for all of our needs (Philippians 4:19). Jesus told us to not worry about the things we need, because our Father in heaven will always provide (Matthew 7:9-11). This does not mean that we shouldn’t work because God will give us food. However, it is telling us that we shouldn’t take from someone else because God has a plan to provide for us. He also has a plan to provide for that other person, so we should not take what God has provided to another.
When we desire something that belongs to our “neighbor,” we are telling God that He will not properly provide for us. Therefore, we need to take from someone else. You do not think that God has the perfect wife in mind, so you go seduce someone else’s wife. This is a rejection of God and His plan for your life.
Coveting Creates an Idol
This lack of trust in the sufficiency of God then creates another sin – making that thing an idol. If I want something so bad, coveting that with my heart, I am putting that thing above God. I am making that thing more important than God.
Let’s look back at Jacob for a moment. Whether Jacob is married or not, he knows that a desire for Emily is wrong. Emily is the wife of Mike, and she is not available to him. However, he simply doesn’t care. He is going to let that desire grow, ignoring the command by God to not let his heart desire her in this way.
Emily then becomes the thing that Jacob must have. He has to think about her. He can’t wait to see her. He creates opportunities to go to her home, especially when Mike is not there. Emily has become an idol to him. This violates the first commandment, which is to have no other gods before our God (Exodus 20:3). Emily has now become Jacob’s god.
Would you agree that Emily has become an idol for Jacob?
Some would disagree. They would say this is nothing more than a strong desire. However, anything that you put above God is an idol. It has become your god.
Paul tells us in Colossians 3:5 to put to death the earthly desires in our heart. This includes sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness. He explains that these things are idolatry.
Are there things in your life that have become idols?
Why have they become so important to you?
How do you seek God’s help to overcome these idols?
Again, Where Is Your Heart?
In Matthew 6:19-20, Jesus told us to build up our treasure in heaven. We often think of treasure in terms of money, possessions, or other valuable items. Those definitely can be treasures.
However, Jesus tells us to build up our “treasure” in heaven. What do you think he means by “treasure” in this verse?
This can be a tough question to answer. Jesus does not tell us what he means by “treasure.” However, the way that Jesus lived his life provides us with a proper understanding. Our focus should be on doing things that glorify God and bring glory to God’s Kingdom. Therefore, when we do things as God commands, lead others to Jesus, and demonstrate love for others, we are truly building up “treasure” in heaven. God is looking at us and saying, “Well done, good and faithful servant (Matthew 25:23).”
While having money and jewelry can make you feel good and important, it is likely that having God pat you on the back will mean a whole lot more. Which do you value more?
How You Combat Coveting
The things that belong to others are their things. You should not seek after them.
Now, it is important to clarify for a moment. If Jacob looks at Emily and says to himself, “I hope I have a wife like that one day,” that is perfectly acceptable. There is nothing wrong with wanting to have the same thing as someone else. If your neighbor has a new car and you really like that car, there is nothing wrong with desiring a car like that.
Where it becomes coveting is when you want what your neighbor has. You want their thing. You want to take that man’s wife, his house, his car, or any other thing that he owns. You are not seeking to go get something like that for yourself but are wanting the thing that he has.
Can you explain why this difference matters?
So, if you are coveting, what do you do?
Here are some things that will help you.
First, you should repent. Acknowledging that you are falling short enables Jesus to work within your heart. When you spend time justifying your covetous thoughts, you are not giving God room to change your heart. Instead, you are finding ways to keep your heart where it is.
Second, talk openly about it with God. Seek His help in overcoming the desires you are feeling. In 1 John 1:9, it tells us that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us. If you go to God and confess that you are struggling about this sin and that you need His help, He will give you the help you need. He will not only forgive you, but will help you in the battle you face.
Lastly, consider that coveting is a lack of acknowledging what God has already done for you or will do for you. If you are married and desiring someone else’s wife, you are not satisfied with the wife that God gave you. You are finding that His provision is not good enough.
A great way to overcome these kinds of thoughts starts by acknowledging what God has already provided for you. Look at the many blessings that God has already given you and be thankful for those things. Instead of looking at what you don’t have or at what another has, spend some time thanking God for the amazing gifts He has already given you.
Can you name some of the ways that God has already blessed you?
God Has a Blessing for You
The most common reason for one person to covet that of another is because he or she does not have that thing. A man seeks after another man’s wife because he may not have a wife of his own. He may also want another man’s wife because that wife is really what he would like for himself. The other man’s wife may be prettier, a better mom, more successful in her job, or more outgoing. He desires what he does not have.
It is human nature to chase after the thing that you do not have. You can have a lot, but our lusts are never content. We must seek to put those lusts in check.
Understand that God is blessing you in ways you cannot imagine. If you do not have a wife, know that God is preparing that woman for you. God is going to ensure that she is the perfect person for you, but keep in mind that if she comes across you when you are lusting over another man’s wife, she is likely not going to be interested in you. For the sake of your future, it is for your benefit to cast aside your coveting thoughts.
If you have something that another has, but you believe that the other person has something better than you, focus on the great thing that you have. Maybe you don’t have the latest phone, the best car, or the best wife or girlfriend. Does it really matter if you don’t? Can you see that maybe you already have the very best thing you could want.
What is something you have that you feel is not good enough?
How could you change your attitude about that thing, seeing the blessing in it?
Memory Verse: Colossians 3:5 – 5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
Bible Passages for the Week:
Monday – Deuteronomy 5:21
Tuesday – Colossians 3:5
Wednesday – James 4:3
Thursday –Proverbs 12:12
Friday – Mark 7:20-23
Saturday – Pick a passage from Scripture that teaches you about coveting.
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© 2025 Dr. Robert Pannier, Hope CDA, All Rights Reserved
