Forgiveness and Repentance
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Do you feel like you are forgiven for the things that you have done wrong in life?
This may be the biggest challenge that you face. It is often very difficult to let go of the sins you have committed, especially when your mind returns to these thoughts over and over. It can destroy your attempt at finding peace.
Are there memories of wrongs you have done that still “haunt” you, making it difficult to find peace?
You Need Peace
In the last block, you learned about peace and how God is seeking for you to find peace.
Philippians 4:6-7 explains:
6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
God wants us to have peace. However, in our last session, we looked at things that take away your sense of peace, like worry and fear, often forgetting that God is with you during your struggles. Unforgiveness is another thing that can hurt our peace.
Unforgiveness can do a great deal to harm you. A study at Johns Hopkins found that unforgiveness can lead to higher blood pressure, higher levels of anxiety, depression, and stress, and heart disease.[1] While this study was primarily looking at the effects of holding grudges, it also found that these same kinds of physical effects take place when a person does not forgive him or herself.
A study in the National Institute of Health found that forgiveness can have a huge effect on our psychological and mental health. The study concluded that forgiveness reduces anger, anxiety, and depression, while also improving self-esteem and hopefulness.[2]
Are you finding that unforgiveness is hurting your physical or mental health?
These seem to be new ideas in the world of psychology, but God always understood that forgiveness is an important part of our health. The Law of Moses included a series of offerings a person made to God so that the sins he or she committed were forgiven.
For many, these offerings seem barbaric, but there were good reasons for them. First, they demonstrated that sin has its consequences. The average person in Israel had a limited number of animals, so sacrificing a lamb or goat was a real hardship. In addition, a person “paid” a price to be freed from the burden of their sins. Most feel a greater sense of forgiveness when they do something to “earn” it. Making an offering helped the Israelite people do just that.
It also brought about a true sense of repentance. Repentance is when we acknowledge our wrongs, accept the consequences of our transgression, and then turn away from them. When we do these things, it helps us to be able to let go.
Restitution for Wrongs
One of the fundamental principles of the Bible is the idea of restitution. All sin was reconciled as a debt. That meant when a person did something wrong, he or she earned a debt as a result. Exodus 21-23 covers much of the law related to the idea of restitution.
For example, in Exodus 22:1-4, it states:
1 “If a man steals an ox or a sheep, and kills it or sells it, he shall repay five oxen for an ox, and four sheep for a sheep. 2 If a thief is found breaking in and is struck so that he dies, there shall be no bloodguilt for him, 3 but if the sun has risen on him, there shall be bloodguilt for him. He shall surely pay. If he has nothing, then he shall be sold for his theft. 4 If the stolen beast is found alive in his possession, whether it is an ox or a donkey or a sheep, he shall pay double.
In this part of the law, a person earned a debt when he stole the ox or sheep of another. The debt was five oxen for one ox and four sheep for one sheep. Verse 4 explains that if a person is caught with the stolen animal, he is to pay double for the animal he stole.
Sin became a business-like transaction. The ultimate goal was to restore the person who had stolen the property by giving him or her a way to rectify the situation.
Many feel that an apology is good enough to resolve a situation, however, God disagrees. The truth is that it can be very hard to forgive another for the wrong he or she committed, especially when the offense caused serious injury or loss.
Do you find it hard to just forgive?
Would it be easier to forgive if the person restored or fixed the damage he or she had caused?
This is the idea behind restitution, to help restore relationships by fixing the damage that has been done. This explains part of the reason for the sacrifices and offerings that the Israelites were to bring to God. God has been wronged when His people sinned, and He set a compensation to restore the relationship. You may not like the means God chose to reconcile Himself to each member of the Israelites, but He was the One who was wronged, giving Him the right to demand the compensation.
The important thing to recognize is that God wanted to restore His relationship to His people, and these offerings helped to do just that. God also wants us to be restored to one another, and so He created the Law to help us so that there is a means to correct the things that we have done wrong. This demonstrates a true repentance.
Are you struggling to feel your relationship with God is restored?
Are there relationships you have with friends and family that have been damaged that you would like to see restored.
Jesus Restored All to God
Why did Jesus come to earth? While there are several reasons, the most important of these was to pay for the sins of all of mankind so we could be restored to God.
John 3:16 tells us that “God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”
Jesus came and paid the price on the cross so that all our sins were forgiven. From this payment, those who accept Jesus now have eternal life. Colossians 2:13-14 explains:
13 And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, 14 by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.
All of the trespasses you have ever committed were completely forgiven. All the sins and wrongs you will ever do are also forgiven. He canceled all the debt you had and there is no longer any debt that you owe for your sins. You are free!
Do you believe that Jesus paid the debt for all of your sins?
Have you accepted the payment He made for you?
Fixing the Wrongs You Have Done
God wants you to know that you are forgiven. Your sins are no longer held against you. The debt is completely paid.
However, it can be hard to let go. Your sins may be forgiven by God, but you may be finding it hard to let go because of the wrongs you have done to others. Are you finding it hard to find peace knowing there are others who have been hurt by your actions?
What can you do to fix this?
This is what the idea of restitution is all about. God wants you to restore the relationships you had with others. Your sisters, brothers, parents, children, and other family members are important to your life and God wants you to remedy the damage you may have caused. There may be others you have hurt as well. Knowing that may make it difficult to embrace the forgiveness Jesus has given to you.
Holding onto that unforgiveness is not good for you. As you read earlier, it hurts your physical and mental health and also hurts your relationship with God. He does not want that for you.
So, what can you do? The truth is that there are many things. First, your prayers are where you need to begin. You have been taught to pray into the spiritual realm to bring about forgiveness, and this is where you should be praying. Seek for God to bring forgiveness in heaven so that it will be on earth.
In addition, start to think about how you can fix the damage you have caused. Working through the 12-steps can help you to accomplish this, as one of the steps is directly focused on how you can make amends to those you have wronged. You are strongly encouraged to find a sponsor and start to work on these steps as you will find that peace and forgiveness will soon follow.
What is missed in the whole concept of the offerings brought to God is that there is a high degree of peace that comes in knowing that you have corrected a wrong. Chuck Colson describes how every person really wants to be able to do something to make things right.[3] This helps to take the guilt and burden off of them. It is a true act of repentance.
Can you think of a wrong you have done and how you can correct that wrong?
You may wonder what you can do when you cannot make direct amends. There are going to be people you have offended, and you may not have any type of connection with them any longer or it may be bad for you, for them, or both for you to connect with them again. So, what do you do in that case?
The truth is that there is more that you can do than you may realize. Again, it should start with prayer, but there are other things you can do. If you can use your prayer to bring about peace in the spiritual realm, then you can correct wrongs in the spiritual realm as well. Ask yourself if there are things you can do to help another person who has been a victim in a similar situation.
Let’s explain that with an example. Let’s say that you remember that, many years ago, you hit someone and caused them serious injury. You cannot find them now or they may not want to come in contact with you, so how can you fix that situation? The best way would be to find someone who has been harmed in a violent way and help them. Correct a wrong you have done by correcting it with another. This brings about healing in the spiritual realm. It gives you a way to make amends and to know that you have made a difference for another.
There are ways you can make a difference and help others even if you cannot help the person you wronged directly. Can you think of some examples of your own?
You can also write a letter to the person admitting your sin and how wrong you were. This may seem pointless, because you are not able to send the letter to the person you have wronged, but you always want to keep your focus on the spiritual realm.
This may seem like it makes no difference, you may even think it is useless. However, keep in mind that we have a big God who is everywhere. What you correct in Cedar Rapids can be corrected in Iowa City, Florida, even in Europe. God is everywhere, and can bring your forgiveness to anyone, no matter how far away they are from you.
Stop It!!!
Here is the most important way you can fix a past wrong – stop doing it. This is what repentance is all about. Repentance means to confess your sins, correct what you have done, and turn away from that behavior. You may struggle to stop doing it, but your heart should be toward a change in the way that you think and act.
Repentance should lead to a change in your thinking and lead to an action that demonstrates that you have changed. You should have genuine remorse.
Here is an example. A man may watch so much pornography that the intimacy with his wife is strained. He may not be able to stop watching on his own, as it has become an addiction. How can he repent?
He can do so in many ways. He can get rid of his computer, confess his sins to other men and get an accountability partner, join a group that helps men with this addiction, and be totally honest with his wife. He can demonstrate that his heart has changed by making changes to his behavior, even if his flesh is still too weak to resist.
Are there areas where you need to repent?
Forgiveness Is There
We all do so much to hurt ourselves. This is most true when it comes to the area of unforgiveness. We hold animosity against ourselves for things that we have done and simply cannot let go.
God has forgiven you for all those wrongs. Now it is time for you to start to do the same thing. The question to ask yourself is how can you do this? What kinds of things can you do to correct wrongs that you have done?
Of course, part of forgiving yourself starts by asking if you really want to be forgiven. So many of us have spent years being unwilling to let go of the unforgiveness we have for ourselves, so it may be hard to do so now. Are you willing to be forgiven?
Give a few ideas of what you can do right now to make amends to those you think you have wronged?
Bible Passages for the Week:
Monday – Psalm 103:10-14
Tuesday – Ephesians 1:7
Wednesday – Exodus 21:33-36
Thursday – 1 John 1:9
Friday – Luke 24:47
Saturday – Pick a passage from Scripture that teaches you about forgiveness.
[1] “Forgiveness: Your Health Depends on It,” Johns Hopkins Medicine. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it.
[2] J. Relig, “Indirect Effects of Forgiveness on Psychological Health through Anger and Hope,” National Library of Medicine. (October 6, 2022). https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10120569/.
[3][3] Charles Colson and Daniel Van Ness. Convicted (Westchester, IL: Crossway Books, 1989), 80-81.
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