How Do I Pray?
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How would you define prayer?
After last week, you should have a good idea about what prayer is about, but that does not mean you know how to pray. You were taught that prayer is really nothing more than you talking to God, but some still find it hard to pray. They do not know what to say or how they should say it.
In Matthew 6:9-13, Jesus gave us the perfect model for prayer.
9 Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. 10 Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread, 12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
To understand how to pray, one must understand the context of this prayer. As we are asking today, in this account, His disciples turned to Him and asked how they should pray.
How Not to Pray
He began by telling them: “5 ‘And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. 6 But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
7 ‘And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words.’”
Jesus began by teaching His followers how they should not pray.
The first of these was to not stand in public places so that they were to be seen by others. We learned last week that corporate prayer is important, and so this would seem contradictory. However, what Jesus is saying is that one should not pray just so that others would notice him or her. This type of person is really not praying at all. What this person is doing is trying to be recognized by others for being “holy” and “righteous.”
Jesus told us that this person is a hypocrite. He or she is very much like a person who is friendly to a co-worker, then goes behind that person’s back, talking badly about the coworker. This person just wants to be perceived as godly when his or her heart is far from God.
Jesus encouraged His followers to pray in secret. This did not mean that they could not pray in groups or that they could not pray in public. Instead, He is telling His disciples that they should pray so that their focus is on God and building their relationship with Him. When you are praying by yourself, your focus is on God. If praying with others causes you to turn your attention toward earning the praise of others, then it is time to go and pray by yourself, so your focus is back on God.
He then told them to not pray using a lot of empty words. Another way to say that is to not be repetitious or to say things just to say them. Jesus is saying that our prayer time with God should not be with ritual chants or words we say to seem holy.
We have learned that prayer is about communicating with God much like you would talk to your friend, father, or brother. Just think how that conversation would go if you went to your brother and started the conversation by saying, “You are a great brother, you are a great brother, a brother who is great, a brother who I think is great.” How would it look if you sat down with your best friend and started making a bunch of rhythmic noises? Your words would not seem sincere, and you would not be taken seriously.
Jesus explained that He does not want us to use “empty phrases” and “many words” to talk to our Father. He wants us to communicate like we would talk to our own dads.
So, What Does That Prayer Look Like?
Before discussing what is commonly referred to as “The Lord’s Prayer,” something must be said. This prayer is a model for how Jesus wanted us to pray. It was not the prayer you should be saying. This prayer is said in churches across the world millions of times each week, and that is not what God had in mind. If all we are doing is recite this prayer hundreds of times a year, then we are using repetitious, empty words. The prayer loses its meaning. Instead, this prayer was meant to give us a guide on how we should pray.
We Adore You
The prayer begins by addressing our Father in Heaven. That He is called a “Father” was a revolutionary idea at the time, and is still today to some degree. However, Jesus wanted us to be in a deeply personal relationship with our God, our Father.
Paul explained in Romans 8:15: 15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”
Abba really means “daddy,” and Paul explained that we should talk to God like a five-year-old child talks to his or her dad. We are His children, and He wants us to feel free to come to Him in our struggles, joys, anger, sadness, and bitterness, and to know that our Daddy is ready to hold and love us, carrying us through the challenges of our lives.
He Is God
Jesus then told His disciples to recognize the greatness of God when He said “Hallowed be Your Name.” We do not have to say those words to get the point across, however. In our prayer, God wants us to recognize who God is and what He has and can do.
This makes perfect sense, in that many of us are approaching God seeking something for our lives. To recognize that He is the One who blesses us and cares for us simply makes sense.
Recognizing this can be done in many ways beyond “hallowed be your Name.” Your prayer could start with something as simple as “Father, You have done so much for me, and I am grateful for all that You continue to do.” Saying these words shows the relationship and recognizes who God is and what He does.
Make It So!
Jesus told His followers to pray that things would be like they are in heaven. This part of the prayer actually has two meanings to it. The first part is that we are in agreement with what God is doing and wants to do. Our prayer should be that the ways of God, the way things are in heaven, should be the way that things are here on earth. That God would be the Supreme Authority in heaven and on earth.
The second of these is a little more complicated to explain. God operates in two realms: the spiritual and the physical. The physical is the physical universe that we know, while the spiritual is the spirit realm, which includes heaven.
When we are praying “on earth as it is heaven,” we are also praying for a change in the spiritual realm. When the spiritual realm changes, the physical realm will follow.
Here is an example for you. If your relationship with your brother or sister had been bad for many years, before trying to fix it on earth, you should “fix” it in the spiritual realm. Spend some time with God, praying that He would bring about restoration. Maybe your sibling has been unwilling to accept an apology from you. To change that, you should first go into the spiritual realm and apologize there for what you have done. Maybe someone else has done something wrong to you, and there is a barrier between you and that person. Pray in the spiritual realm first to release that anger and unforgiveness.
What you will find is that what is released, repaired, and restored in heaven will be released, repaired, and restored on earth. It removes the spiritual barriers created by Satan and his forces that are acting against you and the restoration of that situation.
In Luke 10:1-12, Jesus sent out 72 disciples to spread and preach the message. The first thing He told them to do when they arrived at any home was to pray peace. He was telling them to pray in the spiritual realm that peace would be brought upon that home so that there would be no barrier to the gospel message. When we pray that things would be on earth as they are in heaven, we are calling for God to remove barriers in the spiritual realm so that same action can happen on earth.
What We Want from God
Jesus then told us to pray for our “daily bread.” Here we are praying that God would provide for our wants and needs. There is nothing wrong with asking God for things. Just as a son should ask his father for dinner, a new blanket, or a new toy, we should approach our Heavenly Father to ask for the things that we need as well. After all, all good things come from Him.
However, just because you pray for something doesn’t mean you are going to receive. That is especially true if your motives are to feed your flesh. In other words, if you are asking for something that will do more harm than good, don’t expect God to provide that for you. You may also find that your request may seem perfectly reasonable, but God has another plan for you. This is not Him disregarding your request. Instead, it is God telling you that He has something better in mind.
Forgive!
This is a verse that is a little misunderstood, and we will not spend time talking about the theology. Instead, the one area where you should focus your prayer is on forgiving others for their transgressions.
People are going to commit offenses against you. You are going to wrong others as well. Your brothers may offend you. Staff members may say something disrespectful. In other words, you have plenty of reason to be offended. Jesus is asking us to forgive, especially when that person has done something to make amends.
This goes back to the earlier point regarding praying that the earth would be like it is in heaven. In heaven, God wants us to forgive those who have wronged us, especially when they have taken some the steps to show their remorse and seek your forgiveness. Instead of harboring anger and frustration, let it go!
The World Is a Dangerous Place
If you have a pulse, then you are tempted every day. Probably thousands of times every day. It is a real challenge to overcome the temptations and struggles around you and, what makes things worse, is that Satan knows exactly how to destroy you. As you learned, he knows all of your weaknesses, your fears and anxieties, your temptations and pitfalls, and everything else that will cause you to trip.
This part of your prayer is simply asking for Him to help you through the challenges you face every day. If you are struggling with a desire to drink or to use drugs, God is saying to bring that to Him. If you want to run away, curse someone out, or do something else that would cause you harm, God is there to help you. Ask him to lead you away from the temptation and deliver you from the things that would cause you to stumble.
Let’s Put It All Together
Truthfully, prayer is nothing more than these essential elements. There is a lot of discussion related to prayer in the Bible, and you will find that there are dozens, maybe even hundreds of books written on the subject. However, the essence of prayer is simply talking to God.
We have learned that there are six elements to prayer:
- A greeting to your loving God.
- An acknowledgment of how amazing He is or how He has blessed you.
- A call for the things of God to be as true on earth like they are in heaven, and for the spiritual realm to be changed so that the earthly realm can look the same.
- A request for God to provide the things we want and need.
- Forgiveness for things you and others have done.
- A request for God to help us during our struggles and lead us away from the evil and temptations around us.
The great thing about this prayer is that you do not need to have every element every time you talk with God. He is not asking for you to touch on every one of these areas every time you talk to Him. That could be canned and may seem like you are simply checking off boxes to make sure you covered all six areas.
What is desired in prayer is that you speak to God in the same way that you would talk to a very close friend or loved one. Just as a son is supposed to have a close relationship with his father, one where he can call him “daddy,” God is asking you to have that type of affection for Him in the way you address Him.
God is asking for you to express your appreciation, not to flatter Him. It may help you to remember that God can do anything, and likely has done some amazing things for you already. If your words were nothing more than “God, thank you for an amazing day,” you would be praying.
Your prayer could be nothing more than “Father, I am really struggling right now. I have anger and bitterness in my heart. I don’t want that. Please remove these things and help me through my challenges.” That would be an amazing prayer.
Prayer is intended to be that intimate conversation with your Dad. It is intended for you to share your struggles with him, as well as your fears, your joys, your excitement, your concerns, and your requests. You can focus on every area of the Lord’s Prayer every time you pray, and that would be fine. However, it is perfectly acceptable to focus on one or two of these areas just as you would if you were having an intimate conversation with your earthly father.
Your Father in Heaven loves you deeply. He loves to hear from His children. So, don’t be concerned about how you are praying exactly or the words you are using. Instead, just talk to your Dad, letting Him know how much He means to you. This is really what prayer is all about.
Bible Passages for the Week:
Monday – Philippians 4:6-7
Tuesday – 1 John 1:9
Wednesday – Romans 8:26
Thursday – Proverbs 15:29
Friday – John 15:7
Saturday – Pick a passage from Scripture that teaches about how you should pray.
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